How can I put this gently? Moms with Special Needs Children are just different from other Moms. The gulf between us is insurmountable some days and barely noticeable others. We are not better, worse, saints, or chosen...we are just regular people who had children. But our parenthood, the essence of being Mom, is forever changed because of our kiddos whom have Special Needs.
I run a Soccer Program for kids with Special Needs. We are planning our Spring season. The very wonderful and giving Mom assisting me indicated that having soccer on Mother's Day would be a bad idea. Oh, the gulf between us just grew so big I could barely see her anymore. My inner "I AM DIFFERENT" increased to "RED ALERT." How could one small statement make our gap loud and clear?
You see Mother's Day, or any day for that matter, is just another day for me of being a Mom to Willie. Yes, I want to celebrate him on Mother's Day. Yes, I want a fabulous Spa Day on Mother's Day. Both of these have come true throughout the years. But Willie still has Special Needs on Mother's Day. They do not go away. I am important on Mother's Day but he is always more important. His needs are always louder than mine, my other kids, and any holiday that comes along.
It is just so hard to describe. But the idea that he may be on a soccer field for one hour with peers and fabulous coaches, if only to talk the hour away, brings joy to my ears. And his potential joy always supersedes everything else. But how is this different than typical kids you may be thinking? And for all of Willie's life I have had to ponder this and similar questions. Do I love him more than my other kids? NO! Does he get more of my attention? YES! Why is he needier, more demanding, more fragile, more potentially disruptive, more limited, more brain damaged, than my other 3 children? He just is. For that is what Special Needs means. And that is why I am different than most other Moms.
It is a lonely place to be.
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