True story is that his staff told him he couldn't sit in the front seat of the Van for the outing. TRIGGER!! Full PTSD/AUTISM MELTDOWN. Flipped the tables. Why Willie wants to, needs to, and must always sit in the front seat of a vehicle is for another day. Why not getting to sit in the front seat has become a trigger for him is for another week.
For today, we are moving forward. Thing is Willie is so full of remorse and self-disdain. I am told that he did great by quickly calming down after the incident, within 15 minutes. He was able to go through the rest of his day without any more problems. Willie has made progress in his recovery time and his ability to let things go. Sort of.
The minute Willie got home from this wonderful Farm program, he turned to me and said: "It wasn't a good day. I flipped the picnic tables." Since I hadn't yet heard what had taken place, I tried to process with him with the limited information I had. Willie's guilt was bubbling over, as after any incident where Willie knows he has done something wrong. I wasn't sure how to help him deal with it. I knew we couldn't blame the Farm. And to hold Willie accountable is tricky. When I told him he cannot act like this, he claimed he couldn't help it. Can he help it? I was left with a muddy puddle of ick.
Then one of Willie's angels called me. She happens to be the Supervisor for his Behavioral Consulting Team. She explained in detail what had occurred and turns out Willie's recall was rather accurate. When I asked her how to get out of the muddy puddle and to find a way for Willie to stop acting like this, she had the perfect response. She said Willie needs to use his words better and to ask for help.
Now that's a pretty funny thing to say to a person who has such a sophisticated grasp of language as Willie. It also smacks of what you say when little kids are learning to talk and handle their emotions. But the truth is when Willie gets upset, scared, or angry, he forgets how to talk appropriately. Instead Willie has become skilled at talking about how he wants to hurt himself. Sometimes he even threatens others with his complicated high-end verbiage. Every now and then, like yesterday, he acts like a toddler and looses it and flips the table. Problem is he is not a toddler. Willie is 6 feet tall and 225 pounds. He flipped the tables. It was scary.
After I hung up the phone, I immediately ran downstairs to Willie's room to share this new mantra with him: "Use your words better and ask for help." His whole body visibly relaxed and he was finally able to go to sleep after a tense evening. Then this morning immediately upon waking, Willie told me was still upset about yesterday and I again repeated his mantra. He smiled and turned away and continued on with his day.
