THE INTERVENTION: Raising A Son With Special Needs

I told Willie yesterday that I was keeping his computer at home; that he could no longer have it with him at Soltane.  He flipped out. We, his Counselor, His Outcomes Facilitator, Willie, and myself, were in his counselor's small but very cozy and safe office.  It was planned that I would deliver the news. Planned meaning everyone knew but Willie.  I ambushed him. It was an intervention of sorts. He fought me like a true warrior. That office became smaller and smaller as Willie spiraled through his typical pattern.  First primitive anger including yelling and swearing. Next lashing out at me.  Yes, he squeezed my finger so hard that I thought he would break it.  Then the anger was directed towards himself, as he bit his own hand and drew blood.  Finally, the tears.

I don't even know how long that part of the hour took. Could be 5 minutes or 20.  It all was very intense, draining, and scary.  In the end, Willie allowed me to hold him, right there in that tiny room, in front of 2 people who clearly love and care for him.  I can only imagine how exhausted Willie felt/feels from the encounter, as I am still reeling.

An hour later, after the intense emotions had passed, Willie was full of self-recriminations, another typical pattern for him.  As always, I told him we had moved on and accepted his apology and now it was his turn to forgive himself.  I know for sure his self-loathing is still there as "forgiveness-of-self " is a challenge Willie has yet to meet.

The part that surprised me is that Willie, once calm, seemed peaceful with our decision to take his computer away.  What I mean by this, is he did not argue or bully me into discussing the issue endlessly, as his usual pattern.  I don't know for sure, but I guess and certainly hope that Willie feels relieved and rescued.  You see the computer has become an addiction. It is interfering with his daily living.  It is keeping him from sleeping and eating properly, even bathing.

Was our intervention successful? I don't know yet.  On Sunday, as he leaves after a hopefully awesome weekend at home, we will keep his computer and he will go back to Soltane without it. Will Willie join the community more? Will he sleep? Will he venture out of his room more as the allure of YouTube is gone? Time will tell. But we took the first step. PHEW!