Initiative: Raising A Son With Special Needs

Willie called me last night. I couldn't understand why I was giggling during the phone call. I felt all warm inside after we hung up, also not knowing exactly why. With a good night of sleep, I have figured it out. Willie asked to call me, as Tuesday is not his regular call home night, because he wanted something!

What? You are thinking, you are giddy and euphoric because your 21 year old son, who attends a Residential School, called to ask you something? Well let me paint the whole picture...

Willie lacks initiative. Sure, he can and does make his needs and desires known. I want that cookie. I do not want that shower. I want to stay up later. These are basic needs/wants. And asking for toys, books, costumes and guitars are easy too for Willie...sometimes a little too easy.  However, I am grateful he can make these desires known. But something like a phone call home is out of his realm of asking. Sure, Willie could call home every night if he wanted, but he would have to ask.  For someone who is so sophisticated verbally, it is baffling that the simple act of asking to call home is non-existent. We have spent many years trying to teach Willie certain types of initiation skills, a complicated task. But last night Willie initiated successfully!

The conversation part of the call was just as awesome. Willie was in a fabulous mood. His voice was playful but very direct, as he had a purpose. He wanted me to send him his Gameboy DS and two games. Not just any Gameboy and not just any games. Very particular ones with quite detailed descriptions of which of many Gameboys and games I was to send. By then I was just plain laughing which caused Willie to repeat his requests. His voice was proud and strong, asking for something that would make him happy. Initiating our dialogue in a polite appropriate, skillful manner. My happiness made him happy. And our conversation remained upbeat throughout the rest of the phone call. A rare occurrence.

A joyful one indeed. Go Willie!