Monday, August 28, 2017

Evolving:Raising A Son With Special Needs

As we know, all our kiddos are ever changing, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. The following is Willie's most recent evolution:

Willie’s life has been defined by medical trauma and more recently by psychological trauma. At 3 months of age, he seized uncontrollably for over 2 hours.  This pattern of status seizures continued for the next 2 years, always ending up with a hospital stay.  Then when Willie was two, he developed bacterial meningitis which caused him to be in critical condition and a coma for over a week.  After over 3 weeks in the hospital, Willie was released, but would always be marred by the infection.  

Then when Willie was almost 24 years old, he suffered emotional and psychological abuse  and trauma through the Bridges Program.  The extent of this abuse will never be completely revealed but Willie’s symptoms characterize a victim of abuse. The scars run deep.

It is no wonder that Willie’s primary emotion is fear.  Anyone who knows  Willie sees those big brown eyes registering this emotion.  The behaviors of concern that Willie exhibits are all designed to keep him safe and in control.  It is important to understand this when supporting Willie.

Willie was given a PTSD diagnoses in July 2017 based on his life experiences.  There are many triggers that cause Willie to react to situations, words, and people revolving around his perception of the trauma he experienced at the Bridges program.  Willie’s insistence on withdrawing from the world and refusal to take risks and trust people is rooted in the above.  Willie participates in trauma therapy and healing and progress are definitely happening, slow though it may be.

In the 2017 FBA conducted by the Cornerstone Agency, the function of all behaviors appears to be escape with attention being a close second for both verbal aggression and self-esteem which makes sense. He curses, yells, and makes derogatory comments about himself in order to gain attention from others so that he can escape tasks. In other words, Willie scares people into letting him do what he wants. The secondary function for both socialization and hygiene is sensory meaning he is wanting to escape other people/showering in order to access feelings he finds reinforcing such as the euphoria of being on his iPad or the safety he feels when alone in his bed. After explaining these results to Willie,  he said that it makes sense because he doesn’t ever feel safe. When asked why he tries to escape everything, Willie spontaneously said because he doesn’t ever feel safe.

Willie feels like he fails at everything in life.  His keen knowledge of his limitations contributes to his poor self-esteem.  This recent conversation highlights his struggles: Willie was complaining about his younger brother starting a new job and said he would never get a job.  When challenged about this, Willie then said well maybe he could work from home, restoring old guitars.  Willie’s self-comparison to his brothers always leaves him feeling lesser.  Additionally Willie’s strong interest in guitars and music coupled with his fine motor and emotional regulation limitations leave him unable to reach his dreams.

Willie’s senses have always been heightened.  He sees, hears, feels, and senses things more acutely than most. Although his feedback to others is dwarfed and ofttimes limited, Willie still is able to understand most situations and people. Because his limited feedback and disabilities are so loud, others often see Willie as lower in his ability to process and even take things in.  This is never true and must be remembered when dealing with Willie.

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