Letting Your Special Needs Child Grow-Up: Raising A Son With Special Needs

We all know those Helicopter Moms: You can spot them a mile away. Here's what those Mamas do: they dote, live through, control, get way too involved, interfere, forget their own selves, take away natural consequences, and try to remove all pain. You see these Mamas on the Soccer Field at every game with pins of their kids smattered all over their belongings. They yell loudly from the sidelines: too loudly. You see these Moms in schools: emailing, calling, and arranging conferences to meet with teachers to argue their child's grades, bad behaviors, and what have you.  You see these Hover Moms on Facebook, posting achievements after accomplishments after amazing feats their kids do. We all know them!

I disdain these Helicopter Moms.  I vow never to be like them so I barely cheer for my kid at his Lacrosse games, I am intentional in my Facebook posts about my children, and it takes a lot for me to get involved in my kids' academic issues. I am just "so proud of myself." (sarcasm, please)

Guess what though, I am ONLY not a Hover Mom for 3 of my 4 kids. But I am one of those Mamas to Willie. Yikes.

In the world of Special Needs Moms however, we are advocates, healers, devoted, sacrificing, and all around pretty amazing. And until now, I was proud of my roles in Willie's life.  But he turns 22 on Friday and things are changing. For one, he is pushing back against me.  He wants control in all things Willie. Another thing is that he is maturing and thus able to better learn from natural consequences, no matter the suffering.  And there is also Willie's physicality: He is almost 6 feet tall, 185 pounds, broad shouldered, with a demanding presence.  Just being with him now makes you back away.  He is grown now and demands more freedom, less hovering.

And so I walk away.  I purposefully let things go. (SOME THINGS!)  I force myself to trust Willie and his demands for independence.  I patiently and painfully let his new Caregivers guide me through this separation. I am attempting to relinquish my Helicopter Mother status.

In the meantime, when Willie comes home on Friday for his Birthday, I can't wait to shave his fuzzy and scraggly beard!  UT OH!