Siblings: Raising A Son With Special Needs

All my kids were together at home a couple of weeks ago. Like any family, as kids grow-up and go off to college and such, this reunion is rare and usually takes planning. Like regular families, this gathering carries expectations and excitement from all persons. Like all families, the dynamics are rich and complex. For the Special Needs Family, it is even more complicated and plagued with what-ifs.

As I drove home with Willie for that weekend, he enthusiastically spoke about one of his younger brothers, the one who is away at college. Willie knew Teddy would be home that weekend and you could tell he was psyched. When the two of them came together that weekend, there was a calm, a knowing, and a joy you could pick up coming from both of them.

And probably like most families, they, brothers home for the weekend, didn't spend too much time together. But I will never know. As Willie was drawn to his routine on You Tube in the Computer Room, Teddy was hanging out with HIgh School friends. As Willie went on an adventure with Dad, Teddy remained asleep and then thoroughly engrossed on something on his computer screen. And I wondered all weekend, if Willie was without Special Needs, would they be inseparable on this rare reunion? Would Teddy look up to Willie as the older brother, instead of the other way around?  Would they share deep secrets and private conversations I would never know about? I wonder what their relationship would have been like.

The last day that our family of 6 was together, we went to the pool. Teddy never joins us at the pool. And Willie loves to swim. But this afternoon, everyone showed up at the pool. The brotherly/sisterly connection was strong and superseded special-needs. The companionship was fierce as they all sat together schmoozing, complaining about me, deciding what snack they would order from the snack-bar. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, my 4 children, all in one space, and smiled big. It was a rare and happy event. Special needs or not!

But I will always wonder, what if?

An Amazing Book for Siblings!