Many years ago, my sweet, perfect 2 year old Willie went to a Gymboree Birthday Party and had a blast. Two days later, he developed an ear infection, not uncommon for 2 year olds. Did he pick up that germ at the Party? Probably. Why do I even wonder? Because 3 days later, he was in a Coma, diagnosed with Bacterial Meningitis. That Bacteria made his ear throb and his body sick and somehow wandered into my toddler's otherwise healthy bloodstream. Unfortunately, that persistent Bacteria then found it's way into our son's cerebral spinal fluid and then up to his Brain. As we sat there for 7 endless days and long nights waiting for our Willie to either die or wake up, we thought a lot about the origin of that Bacteria. The Bacteria that wrecked our son's life.
My sister's son, Zack, came home from Israel yesterday. He was on a capstone group tour with his camp that got stranded in Israel for an extra week due to the war. I watched my sister sit there helpless and beyond worried for 7 days and nights waiting for that precious 16 year old son of hers to come home or.....The alternative was unspeakable but never far from our sealed lips and vivid thoughts. Many times over the past week I tried to help her by sharing my unique way of dealing with potential tragedy that Willie taught me.
What I learned while I waited for my son to live or die was you never know what's going to "get" your kids? Kill them, maim them, harm them, sicken them, disable them....Whatever evil you imagine. And I shared my knowledge from Willie with my sister. I told her she can and should worry about her son, Zack, stranded in Israel but most likely he will be fine. My lesson from Willie was to try to breathe through the fear and hang onto hope. Willie taught me that I shouldn't try to predict and then worry about the unknown harm that may or may not come to him. That I may as well choose hope and non-worry. Either way, the outcome will be the same.
Throughout the years, I have chosen this unique path, mostly free of fear. I don't worry like some parents. I don't fret or stress over most things. I know I am completely helpless and unknowing. I know my imagination can not even conjure up the potential terror that could grasp one of my kids and take them down. I just mindfully choose to live in the present, not afraid. Now if you met me you would laugh as I am not a particularly calm or zen-like person. But deep down I am grounded and wise. These traits are taught to me loud and clear from Willie's terrible journey. Willie, as he suffered debilitating Brain Damage, gave me a gift. For that I am forever grateful.
As we are all grateful that Zack is back in the USA, safe and sound from that particularly, scary war.
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