Sexuality and People With Disabilities: Raising A Son With Special Needs

My dear friend asked me weeks ago if I wanted to go to a workshop on Sexuality and People With Disabilities. Hmmm, I know I should do this as Willie's parent and hmmm, I guess so.  I acknowledged my reluctance but decided to do the "right" thing and attend.  Little did I know the Speaker, David Hingsburger, was clearly world renowned in the field but was also a gifted speaker. He only spoke for 2 1/2 hours, but his words moved me to tears, laughter, joy, sorrow, and total exhaustion.

(By the way, in the last 4 days, Willie has explored all sorts of new "Sexually" motivated topics on his new computer in the privacy of his room.  The history button on the computer is oh so revealing: who knew Willie found pregnant women sexy? I certainly wasn't used to this and couldn't wait for the workshop to guide me as Willie's Mom. )

David Higsburger spoke from his heart about Sexuality and People With Disabilities, from over 30 plus years as an expert in the field. His real and very funny stories left me on the edge of my seat waiting to hear what would happen next. His observations, epiphanies, and true wisdom gleaned over the past 30 years taught me more about Willie and his Sexuality than I had known before. Please visit David's blog to learn more about him and this crucial topic @ http://davehingsburger.blogspot.com/.

What David taught me today was what I'de intuitively known all these years but hadn't found the words. The grief I had to endure to celebrate and love my Willie had obliterated the Willie that had Sex, had a girlfriend, and got married.  I had to grieve the loss of my normal son many years ago, and unfortunately am called to do so again and again. That Willie that was going to grow up and be a fully Sexual Being was gone.

Mr. Hingsburger challenged me today to cherish and celebrate my adult son who is Sexual. Willie yearns for a girlfriend. He obviously has a Sexual Identity that prefers pregnant women. It's all right there for me to see. I just didn't want to. I couldn't. That Willie was buried.  Now I will slowly unearth that version of Willie. It is painful as I cannot control whether he gets a girlfriend. But now I know I have no choice. I must encourage and acknowledge the Willie that is an "Individual With Disabilities With a Sexual Identity." WOE!

Thank you David Hingsburger!