Just Beep That Horn: Raising A Son With Special Needs

Transitioning in general is a challenge for Willie. Getting out the door when his driver arrives to go to his day program and his fitness program can be super problematic.

The complication is that at Willie's old group home, there was lots of "rushing" that Willie perceived to be bullying, and almost abusive. This morning when I knocked on his door to make sure he was getting dressed, he called out: "don't rush me." I said: "you are safe." He responded: "triggered." This is our banter back and forth to deescalate the many times during the day when Willie is triggered by seemingly innocent demands and environmental stimuli. It helps tremendously to deescalate him. His PTSD is alive and well.

So yesterday morning, at the suggestion of Willie's wonderful behavioral team, Willie's driver beeped her horn to prompt him to go to her car. It was a carefully orchestrated behind-the-scenes maneuver. Thought up by one specialist. Communicated to Willie's driver by me, so she would suggest this new approach, not big, bad, triggering mom. Texts back and forth that she may need to beep extra long and loud. And then TA-DA, magic.

Willie heard that horn, and within 2 seconds, called out to me: "better get going, see you later." His chipper voice was full of liberation and self-confidence. It was a giant coup. For months and months, we have been fighting over this very transition. And now Willie owns it, controls it, and is succeeding at it.

WOW! Recovery and healing are good. And possible.