That Holland Poem: Raising A Son With Special Needs

We all know it. That dreaded Holland Poem: http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/welcome-to-holland.html  I always cringed when I read it. My husband liked it. After a while, I sort of forgot about it. But I definitely remember the message of the poem.  After all, Willie has taught me many valuable lessons, introduced me to wonderful people, and of course forced me to never sweat the small stuff. So Holland, as a destination for this life, is actually OK.

The other day we were driving home from yet another visit to yet another potential new program for Willie. The process is exhausting, requiring the patience of a saint, which Willie has taught me too. This program seems surprisingly promising. Kernels of hope are beginning to banish the deep dread and despair that has taken over since Willie has basically "failed our" of his current program of the past 2 1/2 years.

And then my husband says: "That trip to Holland is never over.  It just keeps going."  What he meant was that we thought we had learned all the lessons, faced all the challenges, and that Willie was just fine by the time he graduated form high school at 21. Instead, we have come to find out the challenges are just as fierce post high school, just different. The Holland we are living in now has all new rules, new expectations, and a very different language.

The author of the Holland Poem, Emily Kingsley, wrote a sequel, and perhaps this is what she meant. For some reason, and maybe it's just us, we thought we had arrived once Willie was an official adult. As it turns out, he keeps growing and changing and certainly needing new things.  And we are still his advocates and interpreters of the world.  The new rules in our new Holland are screaming loud and clear.  We have finally interpreted that language and we are listening.

 Still despise that poem though.