Ice: Raising A Son With Special Needs

Willie moved home. It's been 8 years since he lived with us. This has been building. He has deteriorated in his program over the past 2 1/2 years. The last 6 months were particularly perilous, having moved to a new residential provider. Long story. Willie experienced trauma. Needs healing. So we have moved him back with us to wrap him in love and safety.

I don't like living with Willie. I dread it. It makes my life immeasurably harder by the amount of food I must prepare and monitor, the amount of laundry I must take care of, the books I must pick up, the requests and demands I must contend with. It is exhausting and overwhelming. But it is right for now.

The ice issue is a toughie however. Willie likes all things in excess. So when he fills his giant cups, steins, flasks, what have you up with ice, they are full to the brim. This usually creates a mess, as spilling naturally occurs. The other problem is there is no ice left for the rest of us. As I contemplated what it would be like to have Willie here full-time, I worried about the ice. It seemed a problem I couldn't solve or one I couldn't let go.

As with all things with Willie, I do not correct or criticize. That is a given, if you want to have a peaceful and loving relationship with him. Poor guy is so defensive and super sensitive, more now then ever. And guess what? The dreaded ice issue is actually going fine. We are not running out of ice. The messes are minimal. Somehow, Willie's need to use an exorbitant amount of ice could be lessened as he knows he is not leaving anytime soon. Perhaps his need to use all the ice was because he was anxious about leaving the nest, as he has done off and on for the past 8 years. Perhaps all my concerns about living with Willie once again, will play out like the ice. Perhaps Willie feels so comforted to have been truly heard and seen that he will be more pliable to our house rules then I had considered. Perhaps....

Fingers crossed. For it has only been 6 days.