A Girlfriend?: Raising A Son With Special Needs

I was innocently catching up on Parenthood last night, and my phone annoyingly interrupted me with a text message. This was the content of the message:

                                         "Look at these guys on their little date"                                                

Well, I certainly had to pause my episode of Parenthood to deal with the flood of emotions from this kind text. My first reaction from looking just at the photo was how fun, Willie and Celine are such good friends, and that is indeed rare for Willie.  I also studied the glass of beer Willie was drinking and noticed his straw.  He loves straws and I thought now that's different.  But then I read the words and my heart skipped a beat, my stomach dropped, and I was afraid.  For Willie and Celine have known each other for over 5 years and it has been a wonderful friendship.  Now that they are again living in the same community, I know their friendship has grown and deepened.  But the idea that they may be dating, or at least thinking about dating, takes my breathe away.

As I do often in this blog, I compare my reaction to Willie to my 19 year old, Willie's closest younger brother.  And you can bet your bottom dollar that if this photo was of Teddy and a potential girlfriend, I would just be beaming, so happy for the tidbit of his inner life, and I would have gotten right back to Parenthood.  

But Willie is different.  He has yearned for a girlfriend for many years. His new male friend at Soltane has recently started dating a young woman and I know Willie is jealous.  So here you have it. I asked Willie's "house mom" about this and she told me that when she asked Willie if he was interested in dating Celine, his response was "that question stresses me out."

Why am I so afraid? Well for one, I don't want Willie to lose his close and important friendship with Celine, as so often happens when young love ends. And then there is the fear that Willie cannot manage a romantic relationship due to his executive functioning limitations. But mostly I am afraid as this is not in my control. Willie went on this "lil date" without my knowledge and he will continue to make these types of choices without me.  

In the end, Willie and his younger "typical" brother have more in common then I knew.  For as with Teddy, I cannot control who Willie chooses to love. I have had the tough experience of watching Teddy break a girl's heart already.  And now, although I want to protect both Willie and Celine, I have to just let it go...UGH!