Babies: Raising A Son With Special Needs

First I received a picture text message of Willie holding baby Jane and smiling. Wow, I thought and felt, a happy moment amidst a gloomy time. But then the phone rang and my caller ID indicated it was the head of Willie's day program.  I jokingly answered that I was only accepting good news, knowing this wasn't that. And another shoe had dropped:Willie had crossed another boundary.  He had thrown a chair at a staff member. Luckily she ducked and he missed.  Can't talk about this right now as it is too raw.

Can and want to talk about the text message conversation I had with baby Jane's Mommy after that other shoe crashed into my world. That wonderful Mama said that "she brings out his gentle side."And when you look carefully at the photo, you will recognize that true definition of gentle in my Willie.  For he can be "mild in temperament or behavior; kind or tender, " as the definition describes. Certain people definitely bring this side of Willie out.  More and more, I know he responds to what you think of him. So it is no wonder that he is best with babies right now or those very few who remember his gentle side 100% of the time.

The problem however is that this gentle side of Willie is getting buried underneath his anger, frustration, lack of self-control, what he thinks others think about him. And unless we can figure out a  way to bottle the baby karma and keep it around Willie 24/7, I am afraid he will fail in this thing called life. For baby Jane is not afraid of Willie as others are. She feels his genuine goodness, perhaps even his brokenness. She reflects his potential and true essence.  Jane reflects unconditional love. Willie is drowning in his own feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred. 

I don't know what to do to save him.