I've noticed almost all people with Special Needs have a "thing" about food. It makes sense, as having a Disability implies a lack of control over some part of your life. So to turn towards food, a daily and necessary need, as something to control, is a natural consequence. It is a battleground we parents know all too well.
When we were out to dinner the other night, Willie ordered a Cheeseburger, his favorite. After the Waiter brought our food, Willie, very politely, asked for a side of mayonnaise. This is typical, for Willie was dipping his pancakes in Green Goddess salad dressing since he was a mere toddler. However, after the Waiter left, Willie then decided he needed onions on that Cheeseburger too. At the time, we told Willie "NO," he couldn't then ask the Waiter for just another thing. Willie argued. But when the Waiter came back, he said: "Anything else I can get for you all?" It was Willie who quickly replied: "No, but thank you very much."
Victory! At least that it what I thought at the time. In the past, Willie would have not been able to let it go. Several bad outcomes could have happened regarding these onions. We've seen all variations of meltdowns around getting more or the right food. But this time, Willie complied. It felt glorious. And I knew I'd blog about this.
But when I sat down to write about Willie's self-control regarding the onions, I realized I was wrong. Willie, who can't be like his younger brother, who was sitting at the table, and have his same type of freedom that comes with his type of adult responsibility, had every right to get those onions. And seriously, it is the Waiter's job "to wait on" the customers, even if they may have a Disability, and not think of all the extras they may need for their hamburger all at once. Who am I to take that away from Willie?
One of the lessons Willie is continually teaching me is to let him grow up, to be an adult, to make his own choices. I struggle with the these concepts because, you know, Willie has Special Needs! But as I have come to realize, it is exactly because of his Disability that Willie should be encouraged to ask for and get those onions.
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