A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: Raising A Son With Special Needs

In A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, Marcie says to Charlie Brown:

"Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. We should just be thankful for being together."

This message is the true meaning of Thanksgiving.  No wonder Special Needs Moms everywhere I turn are wrought with angst, anticipation, and bittersweet hearts.  For when faced with Marcie's message to Charlie Brown, we are punched in the gut with the difficulty of being together, when this together involves our kiddos with Special Needs.  Because it is a consistent truth that most people with disabilities are certainly NOT their best with crowds, aka: together.

I was struck with the responses on a Special Needs Blog earlier this week asking parents how they best handle Thanksgiving with their Special Needs children?  So many people talked about inviting family and friends to their houses.  For another disability universal truth is that being with lots of people, especially being with them in a traveling situation and not in one's home, is a recipe for disaster.  We, Special Needs parents out there, who have invited our entire family to our houses are sighing with relief. (Sort of)

As I am one of those who invited 20 or so family members over for 3 days of Thanksgiving togetherness, I also feel afraid and full of ANGST.  Afraid of what Willie will do, say, and act like in front of all his aunts, uncles, and cousins. Afraid that he will make others afraid.  Worried he won't have fun. Afraid he won't feel the love and connectedness that is family.  Afraid that Willie will wreck all the typical family members chance at togetherness. And then I feel torn as being together is not really fun for me, Willie's Mom.  I am too braced for the worst possibility of Willie.  It is a bittersweet dilemma that repeats year after year for every holiday and celebration.

So to those parents out there, enjoy the moments. Try to stay positive.  Remember you are not alone. And if you strive for togetherness over Thanksgiving, you are brave, noble, and courageous.  Of course, there's always the delicious food! Happy Thanksgiving!